Meeting with a Mullah

I was at a meeting yesterday with Afghan government officials.  It was a preparatory meeting for the Afghan equivalent of a security council.  Anyway, as people filed in, I was noting the place settings at the table.  All the various ministries were represented, along with the "Council of Islamic Studies," which seemed a bit out of place, but I thought, what the hey.  Two British guys next to me were also commenting on the rarity of an Islamic scholar attending such a meeting.  Well, this old guy with a grizzly white beard down to his chest and a turban wrapped up high on his head comes in.  The first Brit whispers, "I think that's the mullah."  The second said sarcastically, "Well spotted, chap!  Did you take the special surveillance course?"

They (the Afghans, not the Brits) talked about a whole range of subjects, but the interesting part was when the mullah intervened.  At one point he observed, "The problem we are having is that things are under the influence of foreign culture.  Every day we hear about alcohol and Tajik dancers and rock concerts.  These give a weapon to the enemy.  But even if the Taliban do not resist us, nature itself will oppose us.  Why shouldn't the Taliban wage jihad, when we have alcohol and foreign movies?," which, if he was referring to headache-inducing pretentious French films, you can hardly blame him.  He then cited what he said was an old Afghan proverb about an empty house being overrun by an elephant, no doubt a foreign and/or drunken one, since elephants aren't indigenous to Afghanistan.

So that was fun.  But the mullah wasn't finished, and that wasn't the only proverb tossed about.  During a bureaucratic turf battle between some of the offices over who had responsibility for what and who was getting in whose way, one of those arguing said wisely, "There is a saying: When there are too many butchers, you cannot slaughter the animal properly."  How true this is, all we all know from experience.  After this had gone on for nearly an hour, someone said, "We've been talking about this topic for months," and it certainly felt that like.  And at one point the mullah started shouting, "We must stop foreign influence!  This is a Muslim country!  The only solution is Islam.  Whoever disputes that, I reject you!  You are trespassing Islam, and you cannot love life.  Be an Afghan!"

I came out of the meeting determined to learn more about Tajik dancers.