Drunks et al

Here is the initial list of possible end states (other than metabolically challenged, which doesn't rhyme and so is omitted):
- Hunk. This person spends every possible moment working out in the gym.
- Chunk. Takes excessive advantage of the free food from the cafeteria.
- Drunk. Takes normal Foreign Service reception behavior to an unacceptable extreme.
- Monk. Retreats to his/her hooch or room and avoids all contact with society.

To which is added a fifth:
- Skunk. Neglects, to a woefully offensive degree, all concepts of personal hygiene, and/or becomes a total skank/slut. I don't want to think about the person whom this person who combines both traits manages to shack up with.

This strikes me as terribly unimaginative pigeon-holing. We can do much better than this.

For starters there are additional combinations:
- The Drunken Monk. Who says the guy alone in his room is sober?
- The Monk Skunk. Who says he's not getting busy with himself?
- The Chunky Hunk. Hell, Reubens found this person attractive; who's to say others won't?
- The Chunky Drunk. Eats AND drinks to excess.
- The Chunky Monk. Usually named Ben or Jerry.

Even now, we have not exhausted all the possibilities.

- Punk. When good diplomats go bad.
- Junk. Keep yours covered at all times, lest the previously mentioned EEO concerns arise.
- Funk. The chronically depressed co-worker.
- Flunk. PNG'd or fired. See also "Sunk."
- Bunk. One who is full of it. Though a rare phenomenon in the Foreign Service, his/her existence has been documented on occasion.
- Thelonius Monk. Spends entire tour learning to play a musical instrument.
- Slunk and Thunk. The past tense of "slink" and "think," according to the Dizzy Dean Dictionary.