DHS Color Warnings

I have created a color-coded status chart to explain our current inventory of essential items.  This is the Detailed Household Supplies chart.  Currently, the DHS chart stands at ORANGE overall, after adjusting for the relative priority importance of items.  I now know our departure date.  We have 5.3 months remaining.

RED   This signifies that supplies are critically low or exhausted.  We are actively stealing toilet paper from Embassy rest rooms and looting neighbors' unlocked apartments.

ORANGE  Supplies are insufficient to last even close to the duration of our stay.  We are taking medicinal supplements to alter metabolic rhythms that may reduce need somewhat, but we anticipate going RED within two months.

YELLOW  Supplies are worryingly modest.  We are making immediate plans to reduce consumption with reasonable hopes that we can avoid RED status, but with the expectation that we will go to ORANGE no later than May.

GREEN  Supplies are sufficient to last past our anticipated departure date.  We are considering giving away excess items, taking them to Panama, or bartering in exchange for category RED supplies.  

TOILET PAPER  We have roughly 0.6 rolls per week for the two of us.  Neither one of us can hold it that long.
COFFEE    No problems anticipated.  We can stay wired for weeks past departure.
TEA  We don't even drink it much any more.  We had a brief spell after the India trip when we tried to drink it all the time.  We now have leftover white, green and Darjeeling tea.
PAPER TOWELS/NAPKINS   Almost completely exhausted, but we can grab napkins from the DFAC.
WINE    We just endured a ten-day dry spell before yesterday's modest and mediocre-quality shipment came in.  Talk of the compound is that last year, there was a three-month period with nary a drop.  Like the Ancient Mariner, we foresee doom, and we're not shy about waylaying every third passerby and complaining bitterly about it.
DETERGENT      We're about halfway through our stock.  We'll have clean clothes until the end.
SHAMPOO    No problems anticipated.  We're both growing our hair longer, and I'm so confident I'm starting to shampoo my back hair, nearly doubling our usage.  Still not a problem.
SHOWER GEL/SOAP    Only one more bottle to go.  Embarrassing problem for us; serious health-threatening problem for our office-mates.
PATIENCE      The next R&R can't come soon enough.  Having a confirmed departure date helps, but this will fluctuate wildly over the coming months.
BREATHABLE AIR    Haven't had a single gulp since mid-fall, and it's starting to noticeably affect our respiratory systems.
YARN    Don't ask me why or how, but we have enough yarn to cover half the city.
MALARIA PILLS    Depends on the med unit.  For now we have enough for a couple more weeks, but we are going to a tropical area, so we're going to have to keep taking the pills until the hallucinations start being good.
FORKS    We have one left.  I'm not sure exactly what happened; we came here with three.
TRASH BAGS    If we keep at this pace, it's not guaranteed we'll have enough to make it to the finish, but in the worst case, we can just dump stuff off the balcony, or burn it, where it will be lost amid the rest of the floating debris.
TOOTHPASTE     I'm reasonably confident we have enough.  Only our dentist will know for sure.

POPCORN    Home supplies are almost completely exhausted.  However, this is usually available at the DFAC in the evenings.  We will make it.
GOOD FOOD  Someone had the bright idea of suggesting that the DFAC serve fish every meal.  We've had the same damn pollock every hour for the past two weeks, and it reeks, its odor permeating all other food options.  Food quality was tolerable at best (except for the day, maybe once or twice a month, when they have fried chicken!) but has declined precipitously.  I blame the health freaks.